How to Help Children Manage Rage

Real Talk for Real Teachers with Dr. Becky Bailey and special guest Kim Jackson

Episode Summary

Rage is often confused with anger, but it is not the same. Anger stems from a goal or desire not being fulfilled. Rage, on the other hand, is often rooted in trauma and may be the result of seizure-like activity in the limbic system. Because these two feelings are very different, we must manage them in two different ways. Strategies that work for children who are angry will not work for children experiencing rage.

Typically, enraged children are restrained to ensure their safety and the safety of everyone around them. While restraint is sometimes necessary, it should be a last resort and is not the healthiest or most effective way to manage rage. There are several alternatives to help children become conscious of rage, which we call “the yucky feeling,” and find ways to calm their bodies.

In this episode, Certified Instructor Kim Jackson shares alternative strategies to help children understand and safely manage rage. She also explains how to differentiate between anger and rage, how to keep the other students in the classroom safe, and what you can do to start your “rage program” tomorrow. The experience of rage will likely continue as children grow older, but you can provide the tools they need to manage it today.

Download a free template of the “My Yucky Feeling Book” to implement Conscious Discipline’s rage program with children in your care.

Essential Takeaways

• When children are angry, we can use deep breathing strategies and the Safe Place to coach them in changing their state from upset to calm. Children who are in rage need to move. They also need to become conscious of the feeling and its outcomes, because many children are not aware of their actions while experiencing rage.
• Children who are fully in rage become unusually strong, are unable to communicate with words, and have a blank expression in their eyes. When children are angry, they are still able to speak, and their eyes continue to look around and scan the environment.
• Restraining children is sometimes necessary for safety. However, it can make matters worse, since children who are in rage need movement. In addition, as children get older, restraining them will become more difficult. Teaching needed skills now is a better alternative.
• The Conscious Discipline rage program includes working with the child to create a “Yucky Feeling Book,” providing opportunities for the child to move, and taking action to keep other children in the classroom safe.

Steps for Tomorrow

• Know your own triggers and how to actively calm yourself so you can offer your best in situations that involve rage. Don’t take the child’s rage personally. The behavior is not happening to you; it’s happening in front of you.
• Talk to the child when they are calm and take pictures, then create the child’s Yucky Feeling Book.
• Review the book with the child every day. If possible, make a copy to send home as well. You’re helping the child rewire their brain to handle rage differently, so remember that this process requires consistency and takes time.

Important Links

• ConsciousDiscipline.com
• Free Resource: Rage Book
• Shubert’s School
• Rage Room

Product Mentions

• Managing Emotional Mayhem ©
• Self-Regulation Value Pack
• The NEW Conscious Discipline Book – Expanded & Updated
• Creating the School Family

Show Outline

• :22 What is Conscious Discipline?
• 1:05 Rage vs. anger
• 3:47 Interventions for rage vs. interventions for anger
• 6:44 Introduction of guest Kim Jackson
• 8:00 How to discern between anger and rage
• 11:32 Does restraining the child work?
• 14:07 How to restrain safely and effectively if necessary
• 15:35 Alternatives to restraints
• 21:36 How to help children become conscious of rage
• 27:47 Results of the Conscious Discipline rage program
• 31:53 Strategies to help children defuse anger before it becomes rage
• 34:05 Steps for tomorrow
• 37:08 What’s Becky up to?

Thank You for Listening

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On behalf of our Conscious Discipline family, we wish you well.