Have you ever found yourself wondering how to respond when children say things like, “NO!”, “I don’t want to!”, and “You can make me.” What thoughts tend to run through your head when you hear these or similar phrases?
Understanding the relationship between power, control, and responsibility is key in managing ourselves in power struggle moments with children. Children create power struggles when they feel powerless. Providing clear directions, offering choices and empathy can help prevent/reduce power struggles at home and in the classroom.
Join Dr. Becky Bailey for this 2-part series in learning skills to prevent, reduce and heal from power struggle situation at home and school.
- 47 minutes 51 seconds
- 1:07 Story of child refusing to go to bed
- 3:04 Difference between power struggles with young children versus older children
- 6:15 What is power and the beliefs adults and children create around power
- 9:45 Types of power
- 11:03 Relationship between power, control and responsibility
- 14:00 Difference between responsibility and punishment
- 16:58 Self-control versus other control
- 21:21 Consciously choose helpful thoughts
- 26:12 Outcomes of autocratic and permissive parenting
- 28:42 Emotions are signals to us
- 30:20 Step 1 to prevent power struggles: give clear, assertive commands
- 33:53 Step 2 to prevent power struggles: give two positive choices
- 35:10 Step 3 to prevent power struggles: offer empathy
- 37:40 Step 4 to prevent power struggles: notice and repeat the choices
- 39:15 Step 5 do what we’ve always done for younger children
- 41:15 Step 5 for older children
- 46:54 Summary of 5 steps to prevent power struggles
Helpful Next Steps
- Audio Series
- Online course with Dr. Becky Bailey – Conscious Discipline: Building Resilient Schools and Homes