How to Use a Kindness Ritual in the Dining Room

Kindness Flowers provide a symbolic way for the Bug Family to focus on kind and helpful acts, operating on the Conscious Discipline powers of Attention (what you focus on, you get more of), Unity (we are all in this together), and Love (seeing the best in others).

Kindness Flowers ask family members to place an artificial flower in a pot or vase each time a kind or helpful act occurs. Initially, young children simply put a flower in the vase to represent kind and helpful acts. As children grow and learn to write, the ritual could evolve to include writing the kind acts down in a notebook in addition to the flower ritual. Emerging writers will simply write the kind/helpful person’s name in the notebook and verbally describe the act. As their literacy skills grow, they will write more complete notes like, “Sophie found my pencil.” Ultimately, the kindness notes will mimic the noticing formula parents use: Stating the person’s name, the act and how that act is helpful. “Sophie found my favorite pencil so I could do my homework. That was helpful.”

Another symbolic way to implement a Kindness Ritual would be to place a leaf on a Kindness Tree each time a kind act occurs. (For demonstration purposes, this method is shown in the Bug Family’s living room, but a real home would use only one type of Kindness Ritual.)

Families with older children can simply use a Kindness Notebook to record kind acts and read them aloud daily or weekly.