Resistance to Relationship: Strategies for Reaching the Most Difficult Children

Real Talk for Real Teachers with Dr. Becky Bailey and special guest Vicky Hepler

Episode Summary

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the words resistant child?  Disruptive? Mean? Hurtful? Angry?  We might even call these children disconnected.  What if we shifted our view of these children to see their behaviors as a call for help?

Children who are relationship resistant are the most challenging in our classrooms.  We can relate to these children on some level as we have all had hurt and betrayal in our lives.  As adults we build defenses to distract us from that inner pain, children show us with their hurtful and disruptive behavior in the classroom.

In this episode, we will learn strategies for reaching and building relationships with these children transforming both their life and the life of the classroom.  Listen in and learn how to create a School Family, utilize the skills of active calming, noticing and encouragement to reach even the most disconnected child.

Essential Takeaways

• For children to behave differently we must see them differently
• Building relationships is key to reaching children who are resistant
• Why building a School Family is essential
• Remove judgment from the classroom with the skill of noticing

Steps for Tomorrow

• Begin practicing self-calming and be willing to see children’s misbehavior as a call for help.
• Look for opportunities for connecting with children, begin building your school family.

Important Links

• DNA Process: Book Portal Chapter 8, Star 4
• Skill of Noticing
• Mirror Neurons
• Wishing Well Board

Product Mentions

• The NEW Conscious Discipline Book – Expanded & Updated
• Creating the School Family
• I Love You Rituals
• Shubert’s New Friend
• School Family Job Set

Show Outline

• :18 What is Conscious Discipline
• 3:10 Introduction of Guest Vicky Hepler
• 4:10 What behavior trends in classrooms today
• 4:54 Responses to challenging children before Conscious Discipline
• 6:35 Responses to challenging children after Conscious Discipline
• 8:33 How to build connection with children who resist
• 9:32 DNA process
• 11:38 Beginning steps for helping disconnected children
• 13:17 Why children resist relationships
• 15:45 Reframing children’s behavior
• 18:05 Summary of strategies
• 19:10 Removing judgment from the classroom
• 21:12 Success story of relationship resistant child
• 25:20 What to do when multiple children in a class are disconnected
• 28:50 Teacher suggestions for when it’s difficult to implement
• 31:17 Summary of all strategies for reaching resistant children

Thank You for Listening

There are many ways you could have spent this time today, but you chose to spend it with me and I am grateful. If you enjoyed today’s show, please share it with others via your favorite social media platforms.

Also, would you consider taking 60-seconds to leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes? Your feedback is extremely helpful when it comes to the ranking of the show and I love to hear your feedback! Also, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, to get automatic updates every time a new episode goes live!

On behalf of our Conscious Discipline family, we wish you well.