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When Sarah Sicht talks about her old routine as an assistant principal to Danny Bauer and Jill Molli on Danny’s #1 podcast in the world for principals, Better Leaders, Better Schools, the imagery is familiar to almost anyone who has worked in a school or education environment: 20 to 25 emergency walkie-talkie calls a day. Some of them were for kids who were unable to regulate, in an escalating environment. Some were for kids who were so disruptive, no one else in the room could learn. All of them required Sarah’s immediate, undivided attention.
But by the time she left her previous school, that number had dropped to about 12 calls a day. At her current school, a brand-new building she opened just weeks before this conversation, she hadn’t answered 12 calls in 10 days combined.
What happened?
The difference wasn’t a new discipline program or initiative, a stricter consequence system, or a better rewards program. It was Conscious Discipline: and, more specifically, a shift in who the adults believed needed to change first.
Sarah is candid about where she started as an educator in the early 2000s. She believed kids should comply simply because an adult told them to. She believed misbehavior meant a kid was being “naughty.” She used tokens, bribes, and taking away recess as her go-to behavior management tools. There was a better way- she just hadn’t found it yet.
That changed when she began working with Jill Molli, who introduced her to viewing behavior (adults and children) not as something that needs to be fixed, but as a form of communication. When a child is escalated, they are telling adults they are missing a skill, and it’s the adult in the room job to stay regulated enough to help them learn it, and access it.
“It’s our job as the adults to stay regulated and recognize that,” Sarah says, “and do what we can to help the kid get what they need.”
Jill puts it plainly: most school leaders were raised on threats and fear from those in authority over them- “Don’t make me pull this car over.”
A traditional emphasis on rewards and punishments remains a natural default setting for most systems. What set Sarah and her mentor, Amy Watkins, apart wasn’t that they had a crisis that forced their hand. It was willingness and curiosity. They were open to the neuroscience-based evidence Conscious Discipline brings to the table, even when it meant admitting their old systems weren’t working.
One of the most important points in this conversation is about who Conscious Discipline is for. There’s a common assumption that trauma-sensitive practices are mainly needed in Title I schools, where signs of hardship are often easier to see from the outside.
Jill gently pushes back on that idea. A child who arrives with a nice car, a designer backpack, and every material advantage can be carrying just as much internal hurt as a child whose struggles are more visible on the surface: we simply may not think to look for it. Sarah has led both kinds of schools, and her current district, a mix of Title I and non-Title I communities, reflects that truth: Conscious Discipline isn’t something reserved for children facing visible hardship. It’s for every child, because every child is human, and every child benefits from feeling safe, seen, and understood.
When Sarah got the opportunity to open a brand-new school and hire her own staff, she didn’t wait until the first day of school to start the work of establishing a co-regulating culture. She began cultivating what Jill calls “the soil” of the building months before students arrived.
That meant asking every adult on staff to look inward and asking some hard and reflective questions: How were you raised? Do the words that come out of your mouth when you’re frustrated with a child echo what was said to you as a kid? What does your own brain state look like when things get hard?
The result, by Sarah’s account, is a staff that talks openly about how good it feels to work there, and who does not hesitate to be vulnerable with each other, supportive of each other, and unified before a single new student walked through the door.
The impact wasn’t limited to discipline referrals. At Sarah’s previous school she saw zero teacher turnover in a historically high-turnover building. Academically, the school moved from the lowest 10% of schools in the state to the highest 10% within five years, with the same student population and no redistricting.
Jill notes this pattern shows up consistently with schools that adopt Conscious Discipline: leaders report academic gains and are surprised by them, because “we don’t teach people how to teach reading. We don’t teach people how to teach math.” But when suspensions drop and kids stay in classrooms instead of the hallway, they’re exposed to more instruction — and the scores follow.”
Conscious Discipline is both a practice and process for individuals. Watching leaders like Sarah and Amy apply the same principles to entire campuses and districts led us to formalize a broader framework applicable to system-wide, cultural change now central to our Elevate Conference:
S- Sustained Leadership
Effective implementation starts at the top. Sustained Leadership ensures that principals, directors, and district administrators aren’t just supporting Conscious Discipline — they’re living it out in practice and process. Leaders model the mindset they expect from staff, create structures that reinforce it, and build systems that keep the work going through transitions.
A- Adult Self-Regulation
Adult Self-Regulation is the foundation of everything in Conscious Discipline. When educators learn to recognize their own brain states and respond rather than react, they become the most powerful models of composure and connection in the room; thus creating the conditions where students are most likely to build those skills themselves.
F -Foster Community
A school community is more than a group of people sharing a building. Foster Community means actively creating the conditions where every adult and child feels genuinely seen, valued, and connected. When belonging is a shared priority discipline challenges decrease, engagement increases, and learning flourishes.
E- Engaged Classrooms
Engaged Classrooms are the visible result of everything S.A.F.E. cultivates. When leadership is stable, adults are regulated, and community is strong, classrooms become places students and teachers want to be. Conscious Discipline gives teachers specific daily practices and classroom tools that reduce disruptions by addressing their root causes: students feeling unsafe or disconnected.
Asked what one thing they wanted educators to remember, Sarah and Jill didn’t point to a technique. Sarah said it starts with the adult doing the internal work first. Jill added the piece that often gets lost in conversations about high expectations: be gentle with yourself when it’s hard.
“If you were unkind or had short patience with an adult or a child, we all do,” Jill says. “This isn’t about perfection. This is just about how do I come back when it’s been hard.”
That, in the end, is the real thesis of this conversation: student behavior won’t change until the adults do — and changing doesn’t mean getting it right every time. It means staying willing to come back to the work, together.
[Explore the S.A.F.E. Framework]
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This story comes from the Better Leaders Better Schools podcast episode “Why Student Behavior Won’t Change Until the Adults Do.” The show is hosted by Danny Bauer, founder of Better Leaders Better Schools and host of the most-downloaded podcast in educational leadership, in the top 0.5% of podcasts worldwide. Since launching the show in 2015, Danny has interviewed hundreds of principals, superintendents, and education leaders, and coached school leaders for over a decade, turning those conversations into practical tools educators can use the following Monday.
Thank you, Danny, for hosting Sarah Sicht and Jill Molli and giving this story the room it deserved.
