How to Use I Love You Changing Table Choices in the Nursery

Diaper changing is rarely thought of as a favorite task, but you can easily transform it into an opportunity for connection, learning and fun! Playful connection, in particular, can turn this often-challenging task into something everyone enjoys.

Post two *I Love You Ritual icons* (or I Love You Ritual Posters) on the wall behind the changing table. Before changing your infant’s diaper, look at and touch one of the icons. Then look your baby in the eyes and say excitedly, “We’re going to do ______.” Conduct the ritual and then change the diaper. Remember the four components for a brain-building, connection-building I Love You Ritual: eye contact, touch, presence and a playful situation.

Babies love these rituals! If your baby gets overly excited by them, take three deep breaths together to calm down and transition from the ritual to the diaper change. Alternatively, you could conduct the ritual after completing the diaper change. If you do this, be extremely careful not to imply the ritual is a reward for the diaper change. Connection should never be used as a bargaining tool for obedience.

Older babies are capable of making a choice between two rituals. Provide only two options for one- and two- year-olds; more than that is too developmentally advanced and may be overwhelming.

Show the two icons to the baby, hold them several inches apart, and say “You have a choice! We can do _____ (wiggle the card slightly) or _____ (wiggle the card slightly). Which do you choose, _____ or _____?” The baby will indicate a choice through eye gaze or touch. (Repeat if needed, and provide ample time for your baby to process the information and respond.) Restate the baby’s choice and offer encouragement: “You did it! You chose _____!” Then enjoy the ritual together. The I Love You Rituals book contains 75+ delightful activities.