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Chapter 4: Composure

Composure Summary

  • Power: Perception: No one can make you angry without your permission.
  • Becoming Brain Smart: Composure gives you access to the higher centers of your brain.
  • Skill: S.T.A.R.: “I’m safe. Keep breathing. I can handle this.”
    Noticing and download: “Your face is going like this (demonstrate).”
  • School Family: Brain Smart Start Routine, Safekeeper Ritual, Safe Place Self-Regulation Center, Friends and Family Board

Power of Perception

 

  • Power of Perception - Dr. Becky Bailey - "Becoming the Best You Can Be" Webinar Series

Oops in Practice

 

  • Oops in Practice in PreK

  • Oops in Practice in 3rd Grade

Activity to Remove Your Buttons Children Push

 

  1. I seem to be upset because my trigger Calvin refuses to clean up at the designated times.
  2. This triggers my CD-Rom chatter and feelings of helplessness, which I feel in my throat tightening and my face reddening.
  3. My triggered CD-Rom thoughts that cause this feeling/sensation are “Why can’t I ever get him to cooperate?” “Would it kill him to listen and follow directions just once?” “It must be me; I know his parents and I can’t believe they put up with this at home!”
  4. While upset, my inclination is to relieve my distress by automatically punishing the child by threatening him with loss of free time or get the child to feel bad by lecturing him about how he’s not being very helpful.
  5. I want to feel better. I want relief. I can say to myself, “I’m safe. Keep breathing. I can handle this.” I accept and let go of my feelings helplessness, my thoughts that cause them “Why can’t I ever get him to cooperate?” “Would it kill him to listen and follow directions just once?” “It must be me; I know his parents and I can’t believe they put up with this at home!” and my need to be right and punish threatening and lecturing him.
  6. I want to be responsible, happy and peaceful.
  7. What I really want to happen is for Calvin to learn to clean up at the designated times.
  8. I am not really upset at this child or situation, but at my own thinking and ultimately at myself, for not knowing what to do and how to help.
  9. I take responsibility, not blame, for all my actions, thoughts and feelings in regard to Calvin’s difficult with clean up and transitions.
  10. I forgive myself and choose to connect with love instead of my upset. One loving thought I can think about the child is that he is very imaginative and energetic. One loving thought I can think about myself is that I am a kind friend to others.
  11. Thank you Calvin for teaching me to listen to my true self instead of the false messages on my CD-Rom.

Attuned or Misattuned?

 

  • Attuned or Misattuned? - Working with Triggers and Temperaments

Downloading Calm

 

  • Child With Special Needs Practices Downloading Into Baby Doll

  • Teacher Shares Process of Downloading Calm Into A Child

Skill of Noticing

 

  • Conscious Discipline Skill of Noticing Demonstration with Dr. Becky Bailey

Children Practicing the I Can Calm Book

 

  • I Can Calm Book - Teach Composure and Increase Literacy!

  • Teaching Breathing Techniques During Group Time

  • Lunchroom Breathing in Middle School

  • The Conscious Discipline S.T.A.R. Breathing Tool

School Family Songs

 

  • School Family Song - 3rd Grade Motto

  • School Family Song - Special Needs My School Family Song

  • School Family Song - PreK Chant with Picture Book

  • Creating the School Family™ Music Video - Brain Smart Start

  • 5th Grade School Family Song About Respect

  • 4th Grade Class Motto

  • 5th Grade Class Chant

  • 6th Graders Doing School Family Song With Kindergarten Friends

Belly Breathing Activities

 

  • Breathing - STAR Breathing in PreK Special Needs

  • Breathing - Circle in PreK

  • Safe Place - Young Girl Uses Safe Place Mat to Drain Breathe

  • Breathing - in 4th Grade

Greeting and Connection Activities

 

Greetings

 

  • Bat Greeting in PreK

  • Teacher Greets Special Needs PreK Children

  • Bus Driver Greets Children in Elementary School

  • Male Teacher Greets Older Students

I Love You Rituals

 

  • I Love You Rituals - at Changing Table

  • I Love You Rituals - Here's The Bunny with a Boy

  • I Love You Rituals - PreK Special Needs Teacher Explains I Love You Rituals

  • I Love You Rituals - Here's The Bunny between K and 6th Graders

  • 5th Graders Connect With Jack Be Noodle Ritual

  • 2nd Graders Connect With Peter Peter Ritual

  • I Love You Rituals - Brain Hand in 5th Grade

Age-appropriate Commitments

 

Infant Commitments are Made with Staff

  • Commitments - with Toddlers

Preschool Commitments

  • Clothespin Commitments in Preschool

Preschool Song Commitments

  • Shining Star Song Preschool Commitments

Middle School Commitments

  • Routines - Middle School Girl Shows Personal Manual

Faculty Commitments

  • Celebration Center - Principal Explains Staff Commitments

Safekeeper Ritual

 

  • Safekeeper - Teacher Explains and Demonstrates Safekeeper Promise

  • Safekeeper - Box in 5th Grade

  • Safekeeper Ritual in 5th Grade

  • Safekeeper - in High School

Safe Place Self-Regulation Learning Center

 

  • Safe Place - Made for Infants and Toddlers

  • Safe Place - Miss Mom in 1st Grade

  • 1st Grade Girl in Safe Place

  • How To Setup A Safe Place - Dr. Becky Bailey Explains