Setting Limits Without Guilt
“Put your toys in the basket, okay?” “Are you ready for bed?” “Do your homework now!” “Don’t make me take the phone away.” Do these sound like statements you frequently make to your children?
Adults tend to ask questions or make statement implying there is a choice when there really isn’t a choice. Or we rely on fear-based strategies to coerce or manipulate children into doing what we want. Understanding how young children develop, giving clear commands and setting clear expectations are important in limit setting with children.
Join Dr. Becky Bailey to discover how to shift from a reliance on guilt and fear to relying on love to discipline ourselves and children.
- :36 Effects of relying on fear to discipline children
- 4:30 Side effects of relying on fear
- 7:18 Effects of stress on the body and brain
- 11:18 Ask a new question: How do I help my child more likely choose to ____?
- 13:57 Story: 4-year-old child who had trouble lining up
- 18:46 Power of knowledge: Understanding development of binocular vision
- 22:13 Development of inner speech
- 26:15 Young children encode information in pictures
- 30:59 “A Wonderful Woman Lived in a Shoe” I Love You Ritual
- 32:31 Power of Self Control to shift from fear to love
- 36:30 Take back your power with “I’m going to…”
- 38:36 Story of two kids in stroller
- 40:46 Be a S.T.A.R. program
- 42:10 “Peter, Peter” I Love You Ritual
- 43:27 Power of Attention
- 48:07 Power of connection
- Relying on fear to discipline ourselves and others keeps us focused on what we don’t want, instilling the belief that we are not good enough.
- Use pictures to communicate expectations
- Focus on telling children what TO do
- The motivation to behave comes from being in a relationship
Helpful Next Steps