How to Use Safe Place in the Nursery

The Safe Place is where children go to change their inner state from upset to composed. A child’s first Safe Place is in the arms of the parents. As your child grows, the Safe Place will move from your arms to a learning center in his bedroom to a set of internal skills he can access anytime, anywhere.

For now, your job is to be the Safe Place for your infant. Equip a chair with tools and activities you can use to help you calm yourself and teach older babies the active calming process. During times of calm, read the Sophie is a S.T.A.R. and I Can Calm books, and demonstrate active calming with the icons on the Safe Place Mat or download the Safe Place Breathing Icons from our Free Resources online.

When your infant is upset, hold him closely and breathe deeply. Your calm inner state is essential to your child’s ability to become calm. Affirm to yourself, “I’m safe, I can handle this, keep breathing,” and really breathe. Affirm to your child, “You’re safe, you can handle this, keep breathing.”

Your Safe Place chair is perfect for cuddling. However, an infant’s fight or flight system does respond positively to standing, so standing or walking while you take deep, whooshing breaths may provide the additional boost your baby needs to calm down. Your baby’s Safe Place lives within you, so your Safe Place sits, stands, strolls and goes where you go! Please remember that caring for yourself and your internal state is essential to your baby’s health because your internal state regulates your baby’s.